When do you know its Right?

As a girl when you are in school by the age of 12 you have already planned your wedding, when you are going to get married and when you are going to have your first child. Now when you are young you choose an age of 27 like I did.

When I was in high school and I used to chat to my friends I used to say, I would like to be married by the age of 27 and have my first baby by the age of 28.

Well, I am 28 and no wedding and no baby.
Yet I look back now and think man what was I think choosing to do all of this at such a young age.

I am happy, in a wonderful relationship and yes I can see myself marring this man and having his babies. But when do you know when is it the right time.

When ever he is asked the question, he immediately changes the topic. I have never once heard him answer this question unless he is talking to me but I would like to hear him tell someone else.

We have spoken about it, and at the moment with both of us trying to get our degrees and getting our lives together the baby is on hold until I am about 30 (which isn’t that long away).
But he still won’t answer the question the big question.

I find myself walking into Ackerman’s or any department store and going straight to the baby section or even going into Baby Boom and looking at cots and prams.
I can hear myself making all the cooing noise and sitting there wishing and hoping.

I mean I am not looking at getting married right now or even yesterday but just to get a ring and have that promise made to me.
I am not even asking for a huge hunk of rock to be put on too my finger which some people might find amazing because some one once told me I am a money grabber and yet I am yet to date a guy for his money.

As I look back at my group of friends from school and here today I am the only unmarried girl out of the whole group and there were about 12 of us all together, and yet they all said I would be the first to get married, well I showed them didn’t I.

And yet I think, look at my parents they got married when my mom was only 23 and they have been married for 36 years and they are perfectly happy and then I look at my aunt who was also married young and then got divorce when her son was about 5 years of age. And she has dated so many guys and yet to found the right one.

I think I even proved it to me parents who thought when I came back from the U.K. that I would have a Bun in the Oven and yet I did come back engaged but no bun in the oven so they were quite shocked.

And now I stand back and I look at some of the people I know who have been dating for 6, 9 years and they are still not engaged but are quite content with their relationship as it is. And then I see some girls who got married straight out of school or at least a year out of school and today they are divorced with kids and where have they got in life.

So is it right for me to watch and let my biological clock keep ticking and be happy with the fact that I have a loving boyfriend and not all the other extra goodies or do I push to get what I want.

Some people have the idea that getting married is sacred and should be done in the eyes of the Lord, so in other words you should get married in a church but isn’t the Lord constantly watching you so it shouldn’t matter where you get married whether it be on the beach, in a Game reserve or in the Botanical Gardens.
Or is marriage just a signed piece of paper with and extra wedding ring?


SO What is Right?

To be Jealous or not to be

I have never been a jealous person but ever since I have started dating this guy (no names mentioned) the green monster just wants to climb out of me every time a girl goes near him, looks in his direction and even come over and talks to him whether he knows them or not.

I know he won’t do anything but still in the back of my mind it plays on me.
What am I to do?
I am one of the many girls who have circum to being backstabbed, cheated on, hurt in both the physical and the emotional way and just had one too many bad experiences.
When you think everything is perfect (in you’re mind you are thinking this and hoping) and then it all goes up in smoke.

And FINALLY when you find the right one who you think is the “ONE”, you try so hard that you push them away by yourself and that is what I am afraid of at the moment.

I hate the fact that girls look at him and always want to come over and chat to him especially if we are out. Straight away the claws come out and I want to get bitchy. I am not the tough girl that everyone thinks I am or that a portray myself to be, I might have a big mouth but when the times comes I might run in the opposite direction when it comes time to face the music.

As the saying goes: “you can look at the menu but you eat at home” but does that always stand.
Do guys really following the saying or do they say this to keep there girlfriends happy?

I am trying to be the loving girlfriend but I don’t want to be over bearing and end up chasing him away, so I found myself constantly asking “Are you cross with me” constantly thinking that I have done or said something wrong when he doesn’t sms me, phone me, email or any form of contact with me.

I have always felt that never put a guy on a ball and chain because then you will chase him away but what if you give them too much freedom that they run away on their own accord.
Where is the balance?

If only to have an honest guys perspective, cause sometimes you don’t know when to believe them or not.

I do love this guy dearly and hope that we stay together for many years but sometimes I feel I am doing things wrong.

I am just so scared that I am going to loosing him and I don’t want that to happen and up until now everything has been great.
Yes, every couple has there arguments/ fights what ever you want to call them but is it true that it makes your relationship stronger or does it weaken it?

I have come to the point where I am constantly working myself up into such a tizz when we go out, so when is it the right time to be jealous or not to be. Do guys find it to be a turn off or do they like the fact that someone likes them so much to want to put on the punching gloves and knock the other girls head straight off her shoulders or even scratch out her eyes.

I don’t think this question is just for me, it’s for every other worrying, loving girlfriend who is out there.


Desperately Seeking Understanding.