To be Jealous or not to be

I have never been a jealous person but ever since I have started dating this guy (no names mentioned) the green monster just wants to climb out of me every time a girl goes near him, looks in his direction and even come over and talks to him whether he knows them or not.

I know he won’t do anything but still in the back of my mind it plays on me.
What am I to do?
I am one of the many girls who have circum to being backstabbed, cheated on, hurt in both the physical and the emotional way and just had one too many bad experiences.
When you think everything is perfect (in you’re mind you are thinking this and hoping) and then it all goes up in smoke.

And FINALLY when you find the right one who you think is the “ONE”, you try so hard that you push them away by yourself and that is what I am afraid of at the moment.

I hate the fact that girls look at him and always want to come over and chat to him especially if we are out. Straight away the claws come out and I want to get bitchy. I am not the tough girl that everyone thinks I am or that a portray myself to be, I might have a big mouth but when the times comes I might run in the opposite direction when it comes time to face the music.

As the saying goes: “you can look at the menu but you eat at home” but does that always stand.
Do guys really following the saying or do they say this to keep there girlfriends happy?

I am trying to be the loving girlfriend but I don’t want to be over bearing and end up chasing him away, so I found myself constantly asking “Are you cross with me” constantly thinking that I have done or said something wrong when he doesn’t sms me, phone me, email or any form of contact with me.

I have always felt that never put a guy on a ball and chain because then you will chase him away but what if you give them too much freedom that they run away on their own accord.
Where is the balance?

If only to have an honest guys perspective, cause sometimes you don’t know when to believe them or not.

I do love this guy dearly and hope that we stay together for many years but sometimes I feel I am doing things wrong.

I am just so scared that I am going to loosing him and I don’t want that to happen and up until now everything has been great.
Yes, every couple has there arguments/ fights what ever you want to call them but is it true that it makes your relationship stronger or does it weaken it?

I have come to the point where I am constantly working myself up into such a tizz when we go out, so when is it the right time to be jealous or not to be. Do guys find it to be a turn off or do they like the fact that someone likes them so much to want to put on the punching gloves and knock the other girls head straight off her shoulders or even scratch out her eyes.

I don’t think this question is just for me, it’s for every other worrying, loving girlfriend who is out there.


Desperately Seeking Understanding.